Coffee and one more Joker to kill
by whenthemarshmallowmettheslayer
Summary: Coffee is to Tim as candy is to L and Jason was a 100% done with one Joker now there's three?


Tim groaned as he slipped back into consciousness.

His body ached and it's not from falling asleep in a chair while working on a speech he was going to have to give -

Tim paused his thought.

He drew his elbow back that a few minutes ago he had been using as a improvised pillow and swiped his finger to turn his laptop screen back on.

It was two in the morning.

Tim groaned again though this time it was from dismay instead of pain.

Okay he had six hours to finish his speech for the board of Wayne Enterprise, catch a few more zzz, have a shower, get dressed, and find those crutches that Tim had began to hate using.

Subconsciously Tim squinted his tired eyes at the glowing screen of his laptop, the only light in the dark vast room, which made his eyes hurt even more as he tried to remember if he left his crutches at his room at the Manor or here at the safe-house that had slowly became Tim's residence after his fight with Bruce about Captain Boomerang.

Suddenly Tim was jostle from his thoughts as he heard a loud banging on a door.

Tim winced at the loud sound that did nothing but cause his lack of coffee induced migraine to hurt further before letting out a menacing growl.

WHAT IN THE ACTUALLY FRACK, Tim thought murderously before stumbling as he tried to start walking towards the door that was still being heavily pounded on.

There were only two people who knew his current base of residency. Alfred who Tim swore had the super power of omnipresence and Ra's al Ghul.

Ra's al Ghul plus however many minions he had watching over Tim who the Demon's Head had dubbed "the detective" after Tim had out smarted him.

But neither option made sense.

Alfred knew that Tim was on coffee withdraw since it had been the "kindly" grandfatherly butler who had Tim cold turkey the caffeinated beverage. So it was unlikely that Alfred would disturb him, especially at two in the morning, instead of giving Tim a wide berth.

Ra's al Ghul also knew not to disturb Tim unless he wanted several of his main bases of operations to "accidentally" blow up because of mysterious and utterly coincidental gas leaks.

(Timothy Drake was never someone you should piss off and that's a fact without even adding his utter ruthlessness from being deprived of caffeine that even made demon-brat wary to test Tim.)

Hell, Ra's minions knew better than to disturb him when he was without caffeine unless they wanted Tim's metal bo-staff in their faces!

Maybe Ra's was here to attempt another speech that basically consisted of "join me in the dark side Tim we could rule the galaxy."

Tim paused at the front door.

For a second, only a second because Tim was not weak minded even without coffee in his system, Tim was tempted to say yes if caffeine was offered instead of cookies.

He opened the door not giving a damn to look out of the door's peephole.

He wasn't scared.

Tim Drake was actually itching to fight, an outlet for his lack of caffeine induced anger. He may not look like it but Tim was badass despite demon-brat's loudly voiced opinions.

Google "look like th' innocent flower, but be the serpent under 't," and you'll see his, Timothy Drake-Wayne's face because Tim had hacked google search engine and images out of boredom with Bart and Kon's encouragement. Or had they dared him? Tim mused as his eyes fell on a not so familiar face.

Tim blinked at the sight before him then blinked again.

It was true that whenever Tim was deprived from coffee (Caffeinated coffee mind you - Tim didn't drink the blasphemy that shall-not-be-named for its lack of caffeine.) he wasn't... how shall he put it?

Maximum warped speed Mr. Sulu.

...Or you know. He's most sane; apparently drinking the amount of coffee, which was a necessity for Tim as much as air was, Tim took everyday and than doing a cold turkey per Alfred's worried request - no, actually it was more like polite command caused several effects.

Migraines, sleepiness, irritability, lethargy, constipation, depression, muscle pain, stiffness and last but not by far the least  
hallucinations that could put Doctor Johnathan Crane's work to shame.

However an inebriated Jason Todd with freaky red eyes was not what Tim would have excepted.

"What the hell did you do or piss off?"

While Tim and Jason's relationship with one and another had improved dramatically Tim was on his third day (But whose counting?) without coffee. He had enough problems in his life (main one: coffee withdraws) without adding a drunk Jason with glowing red eyes.

"May I come in pretender?" Jason, ever the polite gentlemen, asked.

Tim fought the urge of slamming the door at his resurrected brother's face because Jason had asked a question instead of answering Tim's.

Didn't the great Red Hood know the rules on pseudo-interrogation?

Whoever asked first is suppose to be answered first.

Honestly was he and Alfred the only members of their family that knew common sense?

"Sure," Tim answered despite the annoyance he felt.

"Why haven't you tur- turned on the lights?" Jason asked with a slur in his speech.

Tim narrowed his eyes threateningly. "I'll answer when you answer my question," Tim answered with all but a snarl.

"I found a notebook in an abandoned warehouse that was suppose to contain some sex traders."

Tim raised a perfectly plucked ebony eyebrow.

"It's title was called Death Note," Jason said as though that explained why Jason had red eyes instead of Lazarus green.

"Oh?" Tim commented as he practically dragged Jason towards his couch. It was a miracle they didn't trip or break anything.

"It had all the rules about killing a person; as if I need a black, morbidly named diary to kill people."

Tim snorted his agreement.

"So a five days later I saw this thing."

"Thing?" Tim repeated the non-descriptive word back to Jason as they finally collapsed onto Tim's couch.

"His name is Ryuk. He's a Shinigami," Jason told Tim. The older man's breathe reeked of cheap beer.

"A Japanese god of death," the words came out of Tim's mouth unbidden; he winced, not meaning to interrupt Jason's explanation. Who knew how long Jason would stay conscious with all the alcohol he had consumed and smelled of.

"Always was the smart one replacement. That's why I wanted you as my Robin," Jason complemented him and Tim blinked owlishly. He was unsure how to process that statement. He filed it for later.

"He gave me the gist of the diary that can legitimately kill people if you have seen they're faces and know they're real names. Or if I made a deal for Shinigami eyes I could just kill by seeing an asshole's face."

"What was the cost of the deal Jason?" Anger crept in to Tim's tone. Yes, he's deductive reasoning was low without caffeine but he hadn't lost his common sense.

"Half of my life," Jason told Tim before Tim slapped Jason upside the head for stupidity.

"Why the hell would you do that?!" Tim shouted in anger before wincing.

Ow.

That hurt; that really hurt.

He had forgotten about his migraine because of Jason's story.

"Cause if a person's correct name is written in the Death Note and you've seen his face he can't come back."

Tim knew immediately the he Jason had referred to.

"What was his name?" Tim croaked curious even though he still wasn't over the fact Jason had made deal with the devil, actually a Japanese death god.

Jason let out a miserable sounding groan. "Not he Tim. Them. Why do you think I came by your place drunk off my ass replacement?"

Tim straightened up from the shock of the reveal but Jason pulled him into his arms. If Tim didn't already know that Jason was drunk he would of now.

Dick was the cuddlier of Tim's older brothers. Not Jason.

"Bruce couldn't protect me or Barbara from one. Now it turns out there had been three of those fuckers?"

Tim finally gave in and laid his head against Jason who was surprisingly a good pillow. A much better pillow than Tim's arm for sure.

"You're helping me find the third one tomorrow morning so I can find out his name," Jason ordered Tim who was slowing falling asleep once again.

Tim hummed. "You buy me coffee and it will be a date," he answered before closing his eyes and finally went back to sleep.

* * *

A/N: I have a perfectly good reason why I haven't update my any of my fics. I finally got around to watching Death Note. I'm not finished with the series but I'm getting there.

One of the several things that inspired this fic was Coffee House Rules by chibi_nightowl on archiveofourown. I would recommended reading it (it's a series of hilarious drabbles about Tim, coffee, and the batfamily) if you love Tim Drake or just the batfamily.


End file.
